Damn, first of all, I lost my notepad, so I'm writing this one on a phone book page. Eh, this whoe
trip is kinda, no, it is overated. I don't really care about "having" a good time anymore, I'm hating being here.
We drove for a total of eight hours today. I did a lot of thinking like I always do when I got free
time. As tree by tree zoomed by, and we got closer to San Juan (that's where we were going), I thought to myself, "Is the
trip really what's bothering me?"
I then began to psychoanalyze myself, and come to the idea that the trip isn't whats bugging me...DAMN
I'M GOOD!!!!
Anyway, once we got to the church in San Juan, our destination, Jimmy made something clear to me.
We were discussing me being Confirmed and now having the Holy Spirit in me. Then he said, "...and you're as pissed as
ever."
It too me a while, but I realized I'm kinda jaded. I've been hurt too much to feel anything else.
No matter what tells me, I react to it the same. So you know what, for everyone that ever said I was always sad or kicked
me when I was down, or ridiculed me in some way shape or form, me new found happiness in myself and my situation is dedicated
to you.
Because strangely enough, you're kinda the cause of it, well, you and her.
Mood: Lonely & Sad
Music: Soundgarden-Black Hole Sun
